Dear Stranger

Dear stranger,
for now,
take no offense
if I become a little
too eager
I want nothing more
for you to know before
we officially meet
the kind of person I am
I've watched from afar
to see who you are
and I loved every moment
I observed
I don't mean to be creepy
but I can be picky
of the friends I hope to make.
So stranger for now
let us go ahead and learn
of each other and of the world.
For I know in my heart
one day you'll be part
of my happy, revolving world.

self

every day I'm someone else

every day I'm me

every day I find myself

but I'm never free

I'm never sure who I am

I'm never sure what I know

I'm never sure where I'm at

or where I'm going to go

I'm going places that's for sure

I'm going straight to hell

I'm going crazy sure enough

and that's not hard to tell

hard to tell what's going on

hard to tell whats right

hard to tell myself the truth

I keep losing sight

losing sight of my dreams
losing sight of the plan
losing sight of myself
I don't know who I am

Unwritten

i am paper

please be my pen

flow forth with words

fill the blanks in

can't do it myself

would if i could

but all alone

i am nothing

Girl, Overwhelmed

Why is it no one is ever just whelmed? Because it is impossible.

I am sick. Spring brings with it pollen and allergies. I am a victim of Spring. I am also a victim of life. I don't where I'm going or what I'm doing with my life, an it is impossible to function in today's society like that.

I don't think I was prepared for college. I feel like a little girl suddenly thrust into a world of adults, I don't know what I'm doing; I don't know what to do. I feel so small and insignificant. No one really is helpful, no one can really help. I have fallen into a hole so deep, I can't see the sunlight. It isn't as if I can just quit school, I have no real skills to help me in the wide world of adults. I am screwed as I am and screwed the way I'm going.

I need help. I need a chance.

I should have taken a year off.

My parents are no help, all they are is pressure. My teachers are no help, they are only bystanders. My friends can't help, they have their own adjustments to real life to deal with.

I'm on a downward spiral with no end in sight.

I can't continue as I am, but I don't know how to change.

I don't see a future for myself, all I see is my past. All my failures, they just keep coming.

I'm at that point in my life where everyone is pressuring me to make all these decisions. Decisions that will shape every part of my life forever. I am not ready to make these decisions, I am not competent enough to make these decisions.

I have so many obstacles to overcome. I don't see myself overcoming anything.

I think I'm damaged. I know I'm broken. But most of all...

I'm overwhelmed.